"What a way to go!"

Humphrey and Nigel were approaching the first tee. Humphrey goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball." He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it." Nigel replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?" Humphrey replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it." Obviously, Nigel doesn't believe him."it mush have cost a fortune - Where did you get that ball?" - "I found it."Humphrey replies.

Joke sent in by Roger Simpson, Portsmouth - I've heard this one before Roger, but I liked the fact that your players were called Nigel and Humphrey!

"Practice your putting"

"Doctor, we've got an emergency! My baby just swallowed my golf tees."

"I'll be there at once."

"What shall I do until you get here?"

"Practice your putting."

Sent in by Louise Southwell, Bradford-on-Avon - Thank you Louise, I think they should design a golf bag / push chair don't you? Push the baby round and sneak in a quick 9 as well - perfect!

Here's a quick one to ask your friends in the 19th - What's the difference between p-u-t and p-u-t-t? Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.

Did you know Winston Churchill played the game? He said - "Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose." I guess it wasn't his forte!

Have a great month and remember to send us your funny stories, jokes and pictures - I will leave those trick shots on for a wee bit longer too - unbelievable :-)